You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize