I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
the raccoons are back...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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