um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
