I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
