i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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