i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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