Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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