So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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