you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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