His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
