i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize