I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize