I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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