Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
NoShamevember. You game?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Randomize