Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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