you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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