Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
