shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm like, not good at living.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
