epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Found the puke drawer
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
