? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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