Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
