There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
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Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
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You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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