I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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