just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
