So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
