Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize