After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
