..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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