:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
