I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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