We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
