I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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