there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
