I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
