Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
