do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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