I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
