I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
