I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My liver just broke up with me...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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