does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
