that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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