You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
