Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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