i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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