I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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