why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
