I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
