I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize