Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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