Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
