Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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