why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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