Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
