Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
