So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I am in a vortex of obligation.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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