Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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