Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize