Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
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Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
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I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
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