i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
