I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize