And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
